Memory
by Esme
Summary: Sometimes memory hurts.


Title: Memory  
Author: Esme  
Date: 2 September 1999  
Category: Tragedy  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Water Rats. The characters in this story that you recognise probably belong to Hal McElroy, Southern Star and the Nine Network. If there are characters you do not recognise, then they belong to me [so don't steal them unless you ask me first].  
  
Author's Notes: this fic has a large element of dodgy-factor. It was my third fic, and I just don't think it's that good. Full of emotion though.  
  
  
  
--  
Memory  
--  
  
  
  
  
Rachel walked slowly and nervously down the hallway. It was three years since she had last been here. Even though she had worked at the Water Police for a lot of her police career, it seemed foreign coming back here. There had been a new constable at the front desk. Rachel had just flashed her police badge and the young girl had let her through. 'Very trusting,' Rachel thought dryly.  
  
It was late afternoon, and obviously a very quiet day. Either that or it was a really busy day and everyone was out. It was odd that Helen wasn't around. 'Maybe she's moved to another station' thought Rachel, but she couldn't imagine the Water Police without Helen Blakemore. Everything would fall apart.  
  
Not much had changed, but Rachel thought it all looked different. Three years was a long time. She hadn't kept in contact with many of the Rats. At first, she and Helen had met up quite a bit, but they both led such busy lives. After a long hard day or week at work, they were both always tired so catching up sort of got left behind.   
  
Even though she hadn't talked to any of the Rats recently, Rachel had heard lots of rumours through the police network. Tommy Tavita had gone on to be a detective and had moved to Central Homicide. Gavin Sykes was still part of the boat crew, and Tayler Johnson was still with the Rats and she was now a Senior Constable too. Jeff was still around - he was never going to leave. She didn't know who the detectives were now. Was Mick still around?  
  
The last time Rachel had seen Mick was at his wedding. He'd married some sweet little blonde thing that he met during a case. That was also the last time she had seen Jack. He had written to her and called her and tried to see her, but she hadn't returned any of his calls or letters. Two days after Mick's wedding, Rachel had received her first letter from Frank. It had been almost two years since he had left. He was only meant to be gone for two years, but it took him two years to even write one letter. She had felt mad that he had left her not knowing for so long, but she had felt so happy when she had received the letter. She had also felt suddenly confused. She had thought she didn't care about Frank, and that she cared about Jack. But the letter Jack, Frank... Frank, Jack With that thought, a wave of memories and emotions came flooding over Rachel. She pushed them down and just ignored them. It was no good thinking about Jack or Frank  
  
Rachel looked into the detectives' office. There was no one there. She took a quick look around. That couldn't be anyone but Jack's desk, and this one looked pretty much like Mick's. And the third desk. It had a strange familiarity about it. Not because it was hers, but it looked so much like Frank's desk? Well it obviously wasn't. He was off in Venezuala. But all this didn't help her on the whereabouts of everyone.  
  
Rachel thought that the whole station seemed extremely quiet and even lonely. Where was everybody? Helen wasn't in her office, presuming it was still her office. She had seen before she had come in that both the Nemesis and Harpy were not in. There were no detectives, and even Jeff wasn't in.  
  
It was like someone had died   
  
*****   
  
Rachel went back down the stairs, feeling more comfortable being back in this station. It brought back many old memories. Old cases, old friends, old lovers. Just as Rachel was reminiscing to herself, she saw a pale-faced Helen walk through the door. She looked tired and stressed and like she was about to throw up, this was not like the normal Helen. "Helen? Are you okay?" Rachel walked down the stairs to meet her old friend and colleague.  
  
"Oh Rachel," replied Helen, with a sad face and a voice full of pity. Rachel was very confused. Why the sad face? Why the pity? And what was with the greeting? Rachel didn't mean to be conceited, but she had expected something more like "*!!Rachel*!!??!!* What are *you* doing here?? Oh it's *so* good to see you!!!" So Helen's sad and pitiful greeting came as a bit of let down and it also made Rachel feel very wary and uncomfortable.   
  
Helen wrapped her arms around Rachel and held her very tight. Rachel returned the embrace, but still felt extremely confused. When Helen finally pulled away, Rachel looked into her face and thought Helen was about to cry. What was going on here?   
  
"Let's go outside," Helen said gently. She was treating Rachel like a lost and lonely child, but when Rachel looked at Helen, she thought that Helen looked like the one who was in need of care. She waited patiently as Helen looked out over the water. "It's all so beautiful." Comments on the scenery, from Helen? Rachel walked up and stood next to Helen. "What's happened, Helen, what's wrong?" Rachel couldn't stand this suspense anymore. Something was wrong. First the station had been completely empty, and then Helen had come in looking like she'd lost her best friend. Rachel knew that coming back had been a mistake. She had been on holidays and had nothing to do. She had just wanted to see the old place and catch up with everyone. She should have stayed away.   
  
"Rachel It's Jack and Frank." Helen's sentence brought Rachel right back to attention. She was suddenly focused on every word that came from Helen's lips. "Frank came back two days ago we tried to contact you, but we couldn't get on to you. He was determined to get back into work straight away. Jeff didn't want him to but an old case came up, and he knew all about it." Helen was struggling with what she had to say, and Rachel didn't like it. She did not like this one bit. Her imagination was running wild as to what Helen was about to tell her. It could only be bad news. A sad face, pity, Jack, Frank  
  
"Early this morning, they had to go and check out a boat moored in a bayso Tayler and Gavin took them over there in the Nemesis and while Frank and Jack went onto the other boat, they moved the Nemesis away, so anyone on the boat wouldn't see a huge police boat if they looked out the window. But they had been on there a few minutes and found nothing and then" Helen had tears running down her face and she was shaking. Rachel put her arm around Helen's shoulders and tried to calm her down.   
  
Helen took a deep breath, "and thenoh Rachel, it was a trick a plan a trap." Helen looked straight into Rachel's eyes, "Rachel the boat blew up and Jack and Frank" Helen couldn't say any more. She didn't need to say any more. The full impact hit Rachel like a block of concrete.   
  
Frank and Jack. Gone. Both of them. Her whole body shook with convulsions, and she had to fight hard to keep her lunch down. She felt dizzy and she dropped to the ground. Helen became the strong one again, and she knelt down next to Rachel and held her tight again. Helen tried to calm Rachel down and rocked her gently as the sun sank below the horizon. Rachel sobbed and choked on her tears. She had lost them both. She had been confused and had ignored them both. She had tried to decide. But now she had lost them both. Jack and Frank. The only two men she had ever really cared for. The memory hurt.  
  
She knew that the sharp pain throbbing through her entire body, right into her very soul could never ever go away. In time it might lessen and fade. But it would always be there. The memory would always be there, a dull ache in her heart.  
  
  
  
--  
end  
  
  
  
  
feedback - erinwilson@trump.net.au  
  



End file.
